


Barking Dog Does Bite

by mean_whale



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aggression, Alpha Bokuto Koutarou, Alpha Kuroo Tetsurou, Alpha/Alpha, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bathroom Sex, Blow Jobs, Crying, Depression, Enemies to Lovers, Fights, Fist Fights, Happy Ending, Impotence, Insecurity, Kissing, Knotting, M/M, Medical issues, Minor Violence, Omega Verse, Suicidal Thoughts, but only very briefly discussed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-19 09:14:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20654786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mean_whale/pseuds/mean_whale
Summary: Bokuto had never met an alpha who could make him as irrationally angry as one Kuroo Tetsurou.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place during their first year of high school.

Ever since he started high school, Bokuto had been excited to be playing in the Fukurodani volleyball team. He had been excited to be practising against other schools in Tokyo. He had been excited ever since he stepped into the gym. His excitement, however, had quickly disappeared, when an alpha had walked in.

He couldn’t tell what it was exactly that made the other alpha seem so off-putting to him. He hadn’t even been close by, he’d seen the alpha on the other side of the gym, talking to a group of friends, but something immediately clicked in the worst possible way. The alpha had the stupidest haircut Bokuto had ever seen – it must have been for attention. He was probably one of those alphas that couldn’t live their life without constantly having eyes on them. Bokuto crinkled his nose and turned away. He would do his best to stay far, far away from the alpha.

Of course, it turned out to be impossible to stay away. He learned that the alpha’s name was Kuroo, and Kuroo was loud and obnoxious and probably rude (although Bokuto didn’t have any evidence to back that up) and not very good at volleyball at all (although the evidence didn’t quite support this). Kuroo seemed to immediately make friends with the entirety of the Fukurodani team, in spite of being a first-year member. Bokuto wouldn’t be fooled so easily.

As luck would have it, Bokuto ended up being paired with Kuroo for an exercise. Kuroo smiled widely until he turned around and saw Bokuto standing there with his arms crossed. The way Kuroo’s smile dropped would have been hilarious if Bokuto wasn’t too busy glaring at him.

“No way!” Kuroo said loudly, but nobody seemed to hear his protests.

Bokuto looked around. Everyone else had started on their task and the coaches were chatting. No one was paying attention to him and Kuroo.

“You!” Kuroo yelled too loudly for someone who was standing so close to Bokuto. “You have a bad attitude. I will not be working with you.”

“Oh, like you’re one to talk about having an attitude,” Bokuto snapped back. “You’re so full of yourself you can’t even see that I haven’t done anything wrong!”

“You take that back!” Kuroo yelled and charged forward.

Bokuto didn’t know what the alpha was trying to do, but he stepped aside to see if that would push Kuroo off balance. It did, although Kuroo managed to right himself before falling on his face. Pity. Bokuto scoffed.

“You –,” Kuroo started, but Bokuto never got to know what Kuroo was going to call him, as the alpha decided to abandon words and rely on his body.

Bokuto hadn’t expected Kuroo to bounce back from almost losing his balance so quickly, so he didn’t have time to step aside this time. Kuroo pushed him hard, and he went down, but not before grabbing a hold of Kuroo’s arm, effectively pulling the alpha to the floor with him. The squeak of surprise Kuroo let out was worth the pain on Bokuto’s cheek when Kuroo’s fist first connected.

Bokuto snarled and hit back. He pushed Kuroo off him and turned to pin him to the floor. Kuroo was kicking and flailing with his arms, managing to get in a couple of hits. They were of roughly equal strength, so neither managed to inflict quite the kind of damage they wanted, but Kuroo’s split lip was dripping blood over his chin in a pleasing manner. They were both snarling and growling so loudly that Bokuto hadn’t heard anyone approach. It was a surprise when hands took hold of him from behind and dragged him up and away.

Bokuto tried to break free to get back. He saw how Kuroo was pulled up by Nekoma’s coach. Bokuto managed to slip free for just a moment, making his way back towards Kuroo, but before he could get close enough, he was caught and dragged out of the gym entirely.

The only thing Bokuto could see was Kuroo and his stupid face, his stupid hair, the stupid smirk on his bloody lips. Kuroo was like an annoyingly bright light in the night, the only thing visible, and irritating. Bokuto wanted to shut down that light.

Then the door closed, and he could no longer see Kuroo. Someone was still pulling him away, arms strong around his chest, and it must have been Kuroo, somehow the alpha had made it behind him, so Bokuto lashed out, attempting to free himself while causing damage. The arms didn’t let go and they didn’t stop walking, although now Kuroo had to drag Bokuto, who had lost his footing while attempting to kick him.

They stopped in a new room, and Bokuto finally managed to break free. He turned around, arm pulled back, fist ready to make contact with Kuroo’s stupid smug face, but the person behind him wasn’t Kuroo. It was coach Yamiji, and Bokuto let his arm drop to his side as he blinked in surprise.

“Are you calm?” coach Yamiji asked.

Bokuto could only nod. He looked around. They were in the teachers’ lounge, and there were a few teachers nearby, watching what was going on.

“What happened?” Bokuto asked and looked around.

He wasn’t sure how he had gotten to the teachers’ lounge.

“That’s what I was going to ask you,” coach Yamiji said. “I have never seen a student fall into such an intense alpha rage.”

“What?” was all Bokuto could say.

He was still blinking a bit faster than usual, his brain trying to catch up to what was going on. Before he got to any conclusions, the door opened, and the nurse stepped in.

“This is the alpha who got in a fight?” the nurse asked.

Coach Yamiji nodded and the nurse took a look at Bokuto’s face.

“Do you hurt anywhere other than your face?” the nurse asked.

The question brought Bokuto fully back to his own body, and he suddenly realised how much he ached all over. The worst pain was focused on his face and he lifted a hand to touch his cheek that felt swollen. His knuckles stung and there was a small bleeding wound on them, although the blood had already dried. His shin felt bruised, and his butt was sore.

“Not really,” he said slowly.

The nurse gave him an icepack.

“Hold this to your cheek,” she said and smiled.

Bokuto slowly pressed the cold against his face.

“The other boy looked worse,” the nurse told coach Yamiji before leaving the room.

_The other boy_? Bokuto questioned, before remembering Kuroo. Even the thought of the alpha made his blood boil, and he squeezed the icepack harder against his face.

“I see you have found your bearings,” coach Yamiji said. “What happened out there?”

Bokuto found himself intensely staring at the door, and reluctantly turned to look at the coach. All anger fell away.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“Something must have set you off,” the coach said. “I know the year has just started, so I don’t know you that well yet, but from what I have seen and from the lack of any mentions of disciplinary actions at your previous school, I think that this was not like you. So, what was it?”

Bokuto looked at the coach and thought back to Kuroo’s irritating existence. What was it about Kuroo that got to him so? He had no idea. All he knew was that it had been instantaneous.

“I really don’t know,” Bokuto said.

“Did he say something to provoke you?” the coach asked.

Bokuto shook his head.

“Something must have happened,” coach Yamiji said with a small sigh. “You will have to meet with a doctor before you can go home. Since you have exhibited the potential for alpha rage, you must be put on suppressants.”

“Okay,” Bokuto mumbled.

He turned his eyes to the floor. He didn’t want to be on suppressants. He had heard too many scary stories about how they might end up changing your entire dynamic, and he was proud to be alpha. He had always been proud to be alpha, and now he would have to suppress his nature because he was displaying feral traits.

“We’ll figure this out,” coach Yamiji said. “Why don’t you take a seat. I’ll go see what’s happening with Kuroo, and we’ll go from there.”

Bokuto shivered at the mention of Kuroo’s name, but simply nodded and headed over to a chair.

*

Bokuto was miserable. He had been miserable ever since coach Yamiji left him to the teachers’ lounge to check on Kuroo. He had known for certain that a whole group of counsellors and doctors had been alerted about the situation, and he would not get out of it without having to comb through every thought he had had and every action he had taken on that afternoon. And he had been correct.

First, he had sat with a couple of therapists that urged him to talk about every single thought that might have gone through his head right from the moment he had first seen Kuroo, then starting before he had seen Kuroo, then starting from that morning, then starting from Monday. He felt like he had had to talk through his entire family history by the time the two betas had concluded that it had happened for unknown reasons, although they did also recommend intense therapy aimed at alphas who had a difficult time with their temper.

He had been taken to see a doctor who took several samples from his scent glands and sent them to the lab (“results will come in within a few days”), and had then prescribed a strong suppressant, suggesting that they start with a radical approach and then slowly work on bringing down the dosage, and hopefully Bokuto would be safe to stop taking suppressants within the next five years.

He had been taken to see a different set of therapists for a group session with Kuroo, but the moment Kuroo was brought in the room, Bokuto had jumped up from his chair, an angry growl that resonated in his chest aimed at the other alpha, who had responded in kind. Kuroo had immediately been escorted out and the door shut firmly before Bokuto could run after him. The therapy session was spent discussing what had just happened, yet Bokuto left with no new answers.

It had been late when Bokuto finally made it home, where he was confronted by his worried parents who had, of course, been notified of what had happened. The conversation with them was long and intense, and by the time they were done, it was so late Bokuto headed straight to bed with not even a thought spared to his homework.

And his misery had continued. The week ended. The next week dragged on. His suppressants were making him dizzy, uncoordinated, and lost him what little focus he used to have. He was disoriented because he could no longer smell himself. He felt like he had lost contact with his feelings, everything seemed to blur together into a grey mess. It didn’t help that the suppressants also affected his sense of smell, and he could no longer smell others quite as clearly. Some days he was absolutely certain that Konoha, who had always strongly smelled like alpha, was, in fact, a beta.

It didn’t take long for Bokuto to realise that having practically lost his alpha qualities, the suppressants having him rendered to the level of a beta, had had a bad effect on his self-esteem. He wasn’t quite as loud, he had stopped all boastful behaviour, and because he no longer noticed omegas due to their scent, he had stopped flirting as well.

“What if I was always only respected because I was an alpha?” he told his therapist.

“You still are an alpha,” the therapist pointed out. “Just because the suppressants are working on your body, your dynamic hasn’t changed.”

“But it has,” Bokuto insisted. “How can I be alpha if I no longer have any alpha qualities?”

And they delved into a conversation on what the dynamics were and were not, the therapist insisting that just because Bokuto was on suppressants he wasn’t any less of an alpha.

It didn’t solve the insecurity that had started to fester. Bokuto no longer felt like himself. He no longer acted like himself. If he was no longer himself, if he was no longer Bokuto, then didn’t that mean that what Bokuto was, was an alpha? And because he was no longer an alpha, he was no longer Bokuto.

He was pulled aside by coach Yamiji the next time a practice match with Nekoma was coming up.

“You will have to be mature about this,” coach Yamiji said. “You can’t let him get under your skin. If you think he will set you off, walk away. Don’t interact with him.”

If Bokuto had to physically stay away from a member of the Nekoma team, there was no way he would ever make it as a regular. He was a burden on the team, and they would eventually kick him out because it was an inconvenience.

Bokuto was still on a sour mood when the day of the practice match arrived. Bokuto didn’t know what coach Yamiji and coach Nekomata had agreed on, but because he had received no further instructions, he went to the gym just like usual. Most of Nekoma was already present, and he could see how the heads turned when he walked in. Kuroo wasn’t there, which was a relief, at least.

Still, the eyes boring on his back made his hands shake with nerves.

He heard the door open and turned to watch Kuroo walk in with a small group of friends. Kuroo looked exactly the same as he had before.

It irritated Bokuto, but in a different way. He didn’t know what kinds of corrective actions Kuroo had had to suffer through, but they seemed to have done absolutely nothing to change who he was. And he just happened to be an irritating alpha. His hair was still atrocious, his voice too smooth to be genuine, and his smile on the edge of smug.

At that moment, more than before, Bokuto felt like he had been hit by a steamroller.

He wanted to leave, take a moment to crumble. Who could even blame him; he was no longer an alpha. He didn’t need to keep up appearances.

Then Kuroo turned his head just enough to catch a glimpse of Bokuto. He stopped talking and turned to look. Stare. His eyes were intense and dark, and Bokuto knew for certain he was not on suppressants, or if he was, they were nothing compared to what Bokuto was on. Bokuto found himself frozen in place, not having moved at all since he first caught a glimpse of Kuroo.

Kuroo smirked, crooked, and Bokuto was so, so angry. He wanted to wipe that smirk off Kuroo’s stupid face, he wanted to see Kuroo pushed down a peg, he had to do that, he had to…

Bokuto turned away. He took in a big gulp of air, then held his breath until he had to let it out.

He made sure the stay at the opposite end of the gym in relation to Kuroo. He could feel the coaches watching him. He could feel everyone else watching him too. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

He was the first one to leave the gym when they were done. He locked himself into a bathroom stall and sat down heavily. His hands were still shaking. He wiped sweat off his forehead, then left his hands over his face. He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and breathed. He breathed slowly, deeply, slowly.

His hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, just breathing, but his hands were still shaking once he’d had enough. He stood up and strode to the sinks, washed his face with cool water. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked lifeless. There were dark circles under his eyes. He was missing the spark he had always seen when he looked at himself. He leaned on the sink with his shaky hands.

Before his thoughts could spiral, like they had started doing increasingly often, the door opened.

From his peripheral vision Bokuto could see it was Kuroo, and he froze. So did Kuroo. For a moment everything was absolutely still.

Then Kuroo moved. He was walking over to Bokuto, who was still holding onto the sink, his shaking hands the only part of him moving. He followed Kuroo through the mirror as the alpha made his way to the other end of the line of sinks.

Kuroo looked at himself in the mirror, combed a hand through his hair.

“What’s got you so subdued?” he asked without looking at Bokuto.

Bokuto had turned his eyes forward and was staring at the mirror. He didn’t know what to do. To leave, he would have to walk past Kuroo, and he didn’t think it was a good idea to get any closer to the guy, even if the suppressants were keeping Bokuto’s anger in check.

“Hey, it was actually a serious question,” Kuroo said. “I’ve never known anyone who went feral, so I’m curious to know what they do. I’m guessing some kind of hormone check? Were you too hormonal?”

Objectively, there was nothing malicious in Kuroo’s voice, and he was much more concerned about the pimple on his cheek than he was about the conversation.

Objectively, there was nothing malicious in the way Kuroo said it.

But it made Bokuto see red.

“Fuck you,” he growled.

He hadn’t noticed when he had pressed his hands tighter against the sink, but he now turned to look at his white knuckles. His hands were shaking, although he wasn’t sure if it was still the same shake or if it was caused by anger.

“Whoa,” was all Kuroo said for a moment, then added, like an afterthought, “what’s your problem.”

Bokuto managed to stop the growl that wanted to escape.

“You!” he yelled, too loud, and his voice echoed in the empty bathroom. “You are my problem. This is all your fault!”

“Hey, I didn’t do anything,” Kuroo said and turned towards Bokuto.

Bokuto held onto the sink to stop himself from doing something stupid like kicking Kuroo’s ass.

“Fuck off,” he said instead, couldn’t quite contain the growl that wanted to escape.

“You’re the one who went feral on me,” Kuroo said.

Bokuto bit his lip, he did his best to calm down, but the moment Kuroo took a step – forward or backward? Bokuto wasn’t sure – he let go of the sink and turned towards Kuroo with a snarl.

"Hey,” Kuroo said and lifted his hands up in surrender, taking a slow step backwards. “Don’t go crazy on me now.”

Bokuto could hardly hear the words leaving Kuroo’s stupid, stupid lips. At least the smirk had been wiped off his face.

“You started it,” Bokuto growled, voice low and uncontained.

Kuroo’s eyes widened.

“I didn’t do anything!” he said, too loud, and as Bokuto took a step forward, he moved back. “Come on, I didn’t do squat. You just attacked me.”

The laugh that left Bokuto caused shivers to run down his spine.

“You ruined my life,” Bokuto said, now eerily calm.

Kuroo took another step back, towards the door. Bokuto was surprised no one had heard the altercation yet. He wondered how badly he could beat Kuroo before anyone would stop it. His hands were shaking, but he was certain it was caused by anger.

“I didn’t tell you to attack me,” Kuroo said. “I didn’t cause your alpha rage. It’s your own fault.”

“Shut up,” Bokuto snarled before Kuroo had even properly finished.

Kuroo was calculating. He was waiting for Bokuto to show weakness, then he would attack. But Bokuto knew every alpha trick there was because he was an alpha too. He was…

He was no longer an alpha.

The moment this thought hit him, all anger disappeared. He was cold now, he felt like someone had dumped a bucket of icy water over his head.

And his hands wouldn’t stop shaking. He pressed them into tight fists, felt his fingernails dig into his skin.

Without a word he strode out, his shoulder brushing Kuroo’s on his way out. He was empty, nothing left in him. No reason to fight.

When he made it back home, he let the tears come.

*

His hands didn’t stop shaking. The doctor told him it was probably a side effect of the suppressants, but they could not switch to a different suppressant because it would disrupt his hormone levels and would make him dangerous. He would have to learn to live with it.

Except it was impossible. He could manage fine in everything except volleyball. He felt like the shaking got worse on court. He had lost his aim.

He would be kicked out.

He punched the wall so hard it left an imprint. His knuckles aching, he collapsed onto the floor in tears.

He had never been violent. There had never been aggression in his behaviour. He had never felt the urge to let out steam through his fists.

Weren’t the suppressants supposed to stop that from happening? Why were they causing it?

More importantly, he knew that none of the professionals would believe him. His therapist had a difficult time taking his word for it when he told her over and over again that he had never wanted to even slap anyone, no matter how annoying they were. He couldn’t blame them. An alpha rage had only ever manifested in alphas that were aggressive in nature, those kinds of alphas that had been pushing people in the playground for fun.

Bokuto had never been that kid. He had been calm and happy.

There were so many things he had been that he no longer was. He felt like he was wilting. His parents had noticed it too but didn’t know what to do about it. He didn’t know what to do about it. He had stopped being completely honest with his therapist because he felt like she never caught what he was trying to say.

They were going to have yet another practice match with Nekoma. He wanted to be excited. He so badly wanted to feel something, but even the thought of seeing Kuroo again did nothing to him.

When the day arrived, when he felt the looks on him again, he found himself wishing that he could even feel the same devastating embarrassment he had felt before.

Bokuto felt like he wasn’t quite there. He went through the motions, but his performance was poor. It had been steadily declining, and he felt like it had now reached rock bottom. Before the practice ended, he slipped out of the gym and headed to the bathroom.

As he sat on the toilet, his shaking hands resting on his thighs, he had nothing to think about. Nothing moved him. He didn’t care. He was staring at the stall door, feeling like this was the end because surely nothing could exist beyond this point, when he heard someone come in. Hesitant footsteps stopped right by the bathroom door.

“Are you okay?” Kuroo asked.

Bokuto wished that he could find even the smallest ember of rage but came up empty.

“You’ve been acting strange,” Kuroo said. “Then I noticed you leave. Is everything okay?”

Silence fell into the bathroom. Bokuto looked down to his shaking hands.

“I wish I still cared enough to kill myself,” he said, voice rough as if he’d been crying.

He missed crying. He wanted to care enough to cry again.

He was brought back to the present when he heard Kuroo walk farther into the room. The alpha stopped right outside Bokuto’s stall.

“That doesn’t sound okay,” Kuroo said quietly. “Do you… uh, should I go get someone? Are you, like… Are you hurt?”

“No,” Bokuto said, then quietly, “yes.”

Because it did hurt. He hadn’t not been in pain in months. Ever since he was forced to lose the essence of himself, everything that had ever mattered to him, it was all gone.

After a moment’s hesitation, Kuroo opened the door. Bokuto wondered why he hadn’t locked it, but it hardly mattered. He tried to stop his hands from shaking but couldn’t. He was certain it was getting worse with time.

Kuroo looked at him, from head to toe, slowly raking over his body with his worried eyes. Why was he worried? He hated Bokuto. This was probably what he had wanted.

The silence stretched on, until Kuroo was the one to break it.

“You seem fine,” he said.

“Well, I’m not,” Bokuto replied.

He felt a tiny bit of irritation. It was good. He clung onto it. It was good.

“I thought maybe you were, I don’t know,” Kuroo said, took a moment to breath, combing a hand through his hair, but this time it wasn’t vanity, this time it was frustration. “I thought maybe you were bleeding out or something. What’s up with your hands, though?”

Bokuto turned his eyes to his hands that were shaking uncontrollably.

“You,” he said simply.

He heard Kuroo open and close his mouth a couple of times.

“What the heck is that supposed to mean?” the alpha finally said. “I have nothing to do with your hands, what the heck.”

He sounded irritated too. Good. Good.

“It’s your fault,” Bokuto insisted, tried to make his voice less void of emotion. “They wouldn’t have put me on suppressants if you hadn’t–.”

“If I hadn’t what?” Kuroo interrupted, now sounding more than irritated. “I didn’t force you to attack me!”

“Yes, you did!” Bokuto said, and there was a small growl growing in his chest. “You fucking pushed me!”

“I didn’t push you,” Kuroo said, now sounding confused, and that was bad.

Make him angry, Bokuto thought to himself.

“You pushed me,” he said. “You started it all, and you ruined my life!”

His voice had been climbing higher as he spoke, the last word now echoing in the small space. He had found the spark of anger he needed, he let it grow, he let the aggression overtake him as he looked up to Kuroo standing in the doorway with a frown on his stupid face.

Before Kuroo could say anything, Bokuto stood up. Kuroo’s eyes widened. He looked apprehensive. Good, good, make him scared. Bokuto lifted a fist, he was going to punch Kuroo so hard he lost consciousness.

It felt like time had slowed down. Bokuto could see how Kuroo realised what was going to happen and tried to step back, but Bokuto was faster. His fist was already headed straight towards Kuroo’s face. But before it landed, he opened his hand, aimed lower, and grabbed a hold of Kuroo’s shirt. Kuroo’s eyes flew wide in surprise as Bokuto pulled him closer, and they both closed their eyes before their lips crashed together.

Kissing Kuroo was violent. It was all sharp teeth and harsh presses of lips, but it quickly melted into something softer, slick tongues and hot breaths. Kuroo pressed a hand to Bokuto’s nape to pull him closer, and Bokuto turned his head slightly for a better angle. Kuroo’s tongue was exploring his mouth and it made Bokuto’s toes curl. Kuroo’s placed his free hand on the small of Bokuto’s back. It was so warm it nearly burned through Bokuto’s shirt.

Kuroo coaxed Bokuto’s tongue into his mouth, and Bokuto slowly let go of the alpha’s shirt, slipped his hand over Kuroo’s shoulders and finally into his hair. His other hand had found its way to Kuroo’s cheek at some point. He moaned when Kuroo sucked on his tongue in a particularly filthy manner. Kuroo pulled him closer, their groins now pressing together, and Bokuto could feel how hard Kuroo was.

He could also feel how soft he himself was.

It must have been the suppressants, he thought hazily, because he had never felt more aroused in his entire life. Kuroo’s mouth was filthy against his own, Kuroo’s cock was big, and the way Kuroo rutted his hips against Bokuto’s was downright obscene.

To prevent Kuroo from noticing his predicament, Bokuto abruptly slid down, hands on Kuroo’s chest, stomach, hips. He pulled down Kuroo’s shorts and underwear in one go, nearly got smacked in the face by Kuroo’s cock when it sprung up. It was fully hard, long and thick, although Bokuto was glad to see that it wasn’t as thick as his own. But then, he was possibly losing in length.

He shook every stupid thought out of his head and leaned forward. He started by kissing the tip. Kuroo’s hand flew into his hair. Judging by the muffled moan, his other hand was over his mouth. Bokuto licked from base to tip. Kuroo’s cock twitched under his touch, and he smirked, pleased with the result.

He tried not to think about how he had never blown anyone. How he had hardly even fooled around once with an omega, so it had been all different. He pulled the tip of Kuroo’s cock in his mouth and suckled. The way Kuroo tried to thrust made him feel good. Kuroo was hopefully too busy drowning in pleasure to notice how inexperienced Bokuto’s mouth was.

Bokuto had one hand on Kuroo’s hips, the other hand holding Kuroo’s cock in place so he could suck and lick on it. It tasted – not odd, just different than he had imagined. Pre-come was quickly coating his mouth the more he worked, Kuroo’s moans becoming more apparent even when the alpha tried to keep them down. Bokuto could feel Kuroo’s knot swelling under his hand, and he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

He looked up, but Kuroo had thrown his head back. He had a fist against his mouth, and it looked like he was biting it. His other hand had tightened in Bokuto’s hair, and it sent shivers down Bokuto’s spine. He turned his thoughts back to the way Kuroo’s cock felt in his mouth, so hard and heavy, slick with pre-come and saliva.

“Fuck, Bokuto,” was all Kuroo whined in warning before he came.

Bokuto took a hold of Kuroo’s hips with both hands to stop him from trying to thrust his cock too deep. He did his best not to choke, but Kuroo was coming a lot. He didn’t want to pull away either and get semen all over himself. He closed his eyes and tried to relax, tasting the bitterness of Kuroo in his mouth, revelling in the moan Kuroo let out.

When Kuroo was done, Bokuto pulled off his cock. He looked up.

“You knotted?” Bokuto asked in surprise.

Kuroo whined and reached down, but Bokuto smacked his hand away and took a tight hold of Kuroo’s knot. The alpha sighed in relief and melted against the wall.

“I didn’t exactly plan to,” he said, eyes closed.

“You popped a knot from a blowjob,” Bokuto felt the need to point out.

Kuroo whined again.

“I guess it was a good blowjob,” he said.

Bokuto snorted. He squeezed Kuroo’s knot a bit harder and was immediately rewarded by a gasp and a small twitch of the alpha’s hips.

“Don’t be mean,” Kuroo said, voice breathy. “You swallowed.”

Bokuto looked up again. Kuroo was still leaning against the wall, looking boneless, and it was probably a miracle he hadn’t collapsed. His legs did shake a bit.

Which turned Bokuto’s thoughts to his own hands that were still shaking. He hoped that Kuroo was too out of it to notice.

“Sorry,” Kuroo said, dragging Bokuto out of his head.

Kuroo was now looking down towards him.

“What for?” Bokuto asked.

“For the knot,” Kuroo said. “This is probably the most inconvenient place for it.”

Bokuto smirked and shook his head. He turned to look at Kuroo’s cock, the fat knot he held in his hand. He saw Kuroo waving a hand and looked up.

“Come up here,” Kuroo said and pouted.

Bokuto sighed but smiled, then stood up, carefully holding onto Kuroo’s knot. It was hard and he couldn’t help wondering what it would feel like to have it inside him.

Kuroo kissed him. He then pulled away, making a face, but before Bokuto could feel offended, Kuroo shrugged and pulled him back into a kiss. Kuroo thoroughly licked through his mouth, hands starting out on his cheeks, then trailing down his body. Kuroo’s hands were smaller than his own, they felt so good. Bokuto leaned into the kiss.

“What the–?” Kuroo said, pulling away from the kiss.

Bokuto’s eyes widened as he realised that Kuroo was groping his soft cock. Kuroo was looking down but quickly looked up. He was frowning. Bokuto swallowed.

“It’s,” he started to say, but his voice broke, so he stayed quiet.

“Was my knot such a turn-off?” Kuroo asked coldly. “Or was it the entire blowjob? What the fuck are you playing at, huh?”

Bokuto couldn’t look at him, so he looked down. Except then he was met with the view of Kuroo’s hand still resting against his hip, while his own had was holding Kuroo’s cock. He closed his eyes. His hands were starting to shake worse, and he had to take a moment to try to steady at least the one that was touching Kuroo.

“It’s the suppressants,” he managed a whisper.

“Suppressants don’t cause soft dick!” Kuroo was now getting angry.

Bokuto sobbed. Kuroo went still and quiet. Bokuto lifted his free hand to wipe over his eyes to stop the tears that had gathered there. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t want to cry in a bathroom while still holding Kuroo’s cock in his hand.

“Okay,” Kuroo said, voice softer than ever before. “Okay, let’s talk.”

Kuroo took a hold of Bokuto’s hand and pulled it away from his face. With his other hand Kuroo turned Bokuto’s face towards him. Bokuto couldn’t quite meet his eyes, but he could see how serious Kuroo looked.

“Why would you say it’s the suppressants?” Kuroo asked.

Bokuto sniffled, glad that he had managed to stop his tears. However, he couldn’t stop his voice from wavering.

“Because it is,” he said. “They’ve turned everything into a mess.”

“But suppressants don’t do that,” Kuroo said.

“Yes they do with a big enough dosage,” Bokuto said, hoping that he didn’t sound like he was insisting too much to seem honest.

Kuroo was quiet for a moment.

“And how big is the dosage?” he asked then.

“I’m not even sure,” Bokuto said. “They’re a different type than usual, but I think the doctor said they’re ten times stronger than the normal types?”

“Ten,” Kuroo gasped.

Then it was quiet again. Kuroo’s knot was starting to go down, but Bokuto was sure it would still be painful. He focused on feeling the knot in his hand, the weight of Kuroo’s cock against his skin.

“And,” Kuroo then said, slightly hesitant, “you’re taking what? One pill a day?”

“Two,” Bokuto mumbled, still focusing on the firmness of Kuroo’s knot.

“Two,” Kuroo repeated and sighed. “Okay, okay, that will probably cause all kinds of things.”

“I’m no longer alpha,” Bokuto whispered.

“Hey,” Kuroo said, cupping Bokuto’s cheek. “Just because you can’t get it up doesn’t mean you’re not all alpha.”

“It’s not just that,” Bokuto said, although he was touched by Kuroo trying to soothe him. “I no longer have my scent or my sense of smell.”

“You do have a scent,” Kuroo said and pressed his nose against Bokuto’s scent gland as if to demonstrate. “Sure, it’s not very strong, but it’s still definitely you. And definitely alpha. Just, an alpha on suppressants.”

“You’re just saying,” Bokuto mumbled.

Kuroo pulled away from his neck and sighed.

“You really can’t smell me?” he asked.

“Why would I say that if I didn’t mean it,” Bokuto continued mumbling.

He didn’t want to talk about how broken he had become, and not with Kuroo of all people.

“Is that why your hands are shaking so much?” Kuroo asked.

A nod.

“Is that also why you’ve been acting so weird?” Kuroo asked.

Bokuto glanced at Kuroo’s face, trying to read it, but didn’t know what to make of it. He shrugged.

“I don’t know what weird means to you,” he said.

“Well,” Kuroo started.

Bokuto wished that he had kept his mouth shut. He did not want to hear a dissertation of his odd behaviour, because he was pretty sure he knew exactly what Kuroo had meant.

“You’ve been kind of quiet,” Kuroo said. “It looks like you’re trying to hide, but then it’s not really that. You just look like you’re lost.”

Bokuto frowned and looked down. Kuroo’s knot was almost completely gone, so he slowly let go of it. Kuroo made a small sound in his throat. It stung, because Bokuto had no idea what it meant, and because he knew that without the suppressants he would know exactly what was going on.

“I don’t understand people without smelling them,” he said quietly.

“Ah, so you’re used to relying on scents to read situations,” Kuroo said thoughtfully. “No wonder you’ve been looking so defeated.”

A silence fell between them. Kuroo still had a hand on Bokuto’s cheek, and his thumb was absentmindedly stroking Bokuto’s skin. Bokuto reached down to pull Kuroo’s pants back up, carefully tucking him back into his underwear.

When he raised his head, Kuroo was looking at him with the sincerest face he had ever seen.

“What?” he asked, cheeks warming up and ears burning.

“You can be so soft,” Kuroo said. “I didn’t expect that.”

Bokuto frowned but didn’t have time to question it before Kuroo was kissing him. It was slow and soft, and abruptly interrupted by the bathroom door opening.

“Kuroo?” someone called from the door.

Kuroo’s eyes widened. He was holding onto Bokuto’s face with both hands. He cleared his throat, but didn’t have time to say anything, when his classmate had already made it to the right stall. That still had its door open.

All three of them froze, and if it wasn’t so embarrassing, it would have been hilarious. The Nekoma player, whose name Bokuto vaguely recalled being Yaku, was staring at them with his mouth open. Kuroo was still softly holding Bokuto’s cheeks between his hands, and Bokuto had his arms wrapped around Kuroo’s waist, their hips pressed close together.

“Uh,” Kuroo broke the silence. “This is probably exactly what it looks like.”

Yaku snapped his mouth shut. He looked apprehensively at Bokuto, who couldn’t meet his eyes.

“Are,” Yaku asked slowly, turned his head towards Kuroo, but his eyes remained on Bokuto until he had to turn them to Kuroo was well, “you sure this is… what you want to be doing?”

“Yes, very much so,” Kuroo said and nodded.

Bokuto couldn’t help the snort that escaped. His cheeks were burning, and he turned his head away from Yaku.

“Yeah,” Yaku said, the word slow and long. “You’re sure that, I don’t know, no one forced you to do anything?”

Bokuto could see Kuroo frown.

“Yes, I’m plenty sure, thank you,” Kuroo replied, almost snappy.

Bokuto was still looking the other way so he couldn’t see, but he could imagine how Yaku was glaring at him.

“Right,” Yaku said.

“Right,” Kuroo responded.

It was quiet again. Bokuto closed his eyes and leaned his head against Kuroo’s shoulder, then froze when he realised what he was doing.

“Uh,” Yaku said. “I guess I’ll go tell them that you’re both accounted for.”

“Tell them I took Bokuto to the nurse,” Kuroo said.

“What?” Bokuto and Yaku asked at the same time.

Bokuto lifted his head up to stare at Kuroo, who was looking intently at Yaku.

“Make sure they know we weren’t fighting,” Kuroo said.

Yaku snorted.

“Yeah, they’ll believe me,” he said and rolled his eyes.

Bokuto was now watching Yaku, who glanced at him before turning towards the door.

“I can try,” Yaku said, “but they will want to talk to the two of you later.”

“I know,” Kuroo said.

With that, Yaku left the bathroom. Kuroo turned to look at Bokuto.

“Why did you say you were taking me to the nurse?” Bokuto asked.

“Because I plan on taking you to see the nurse,” Kuroo said.

“Why?” Bokuto asked.

“Look,” Kuroo said, only now letting go of Bokuto’s cheeks, one hand sliding into his hair and one resting on his shoulder. “The suppressants are clearly making you miserable. There has to be something we can do about that.”

“There isn’t,” Bokuto insisted. “Once you go feral, they’ll never trust you again.”

Kuroo took a moment to look at him. Bokuto slowly let his arms fall to his sides, stepping back from Kuroo.

“I heard people talk, okay?” Kuroo said, letting go of Bokuto only to then take a hold of both of his hands. “All I heard was surprise over your reaction. Apparently, that wasn’t something anyone would have expected from you. You have no idea how many different people I heard say _he never even gets irritated_. So, I’m guessing that you’re not the typical alpha to go into a rage?”

Bokuto nodded. Kuroo nodded as well.

“I’m sure if we explain what happened now,” Kuroo said, “and once they see us in the same room without trying to tear each other apart, they’ll believe. And we've got to talk about the side effects you’re having! There’s no way they can keep you on such strong suppressants if they’re ruining your life. And your future.”

Bokuto opened his mouth but found that he had nothing to say. So, he merely nodded.

“Good,” Kuroo said. “Then one more thing.”

Bokuto looked at him expectantly as Kuroo took a moment to simply look at him.

“Will you be my mate?” Kuroo asked.

Bokuto’s eyes widened.

“That can’t have surprised you,” Kuroo said and smiled lopsidedly.

“Y- Yes,” Bokuto managed.

Kuroo’s answering smile was wide, warm and gentle, and so was his next kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was several years ago that I was talking about Bokuto and Kuroo being enemies when they first met, so it was about time I wrote the fic. This isn't exactly what I had in mind for that specific scenario, but it also went well with my idea of alphas Bokuto and Kuroo fighting because sexual frustration.
> 
> I feel kind of conflicted about this fic because I feel like it wouldn't go exactly where I wanted it to go. But that could just be the weird writer's block I'm having.
> 
> Anyhoo, I wrote this in three days, which is the fastest I've gotten anything done (except reading) in forever so that was nice.
> 
> [mastodon](https://fandom.ink/@mean_whale) for fic announcements  
[twitter](https://twitter.com/mean_whale) for personal chaos


	2. Chapter 2

Bokuto looked even more tired than usual. The shaking also seemed to be worse. He didn’t look quite present, so Kuroo reached out to take a hold of his hand. Bokuto was still staring almost mindlessly at the opposing wall, but Kuroo saw a spark of recognition on his face, so he let it be.

When the door opened, Bokuto squeezed Kuroo’s hand. The doctor was frowning at a bunch of papers, making her way to her desk. Kuroo felt like he was bursting with questions, and he could hardly wait for her to settle in her chair, still frowning.

“I have both your lab results here,” she said, turning to look at Bokuto. “It’s worrying.”

Kuroo squeezed Bokuto’s hand harder as the alpha bit his lip. He could see the worry etched on Bokuto’s face, and he wanted nothing more than to make it go away.

“I don’t know what your previous doctor was thinking,” the doctor said, looking Bokuto straight in the eyes, “but you should have never been put on such hard suppressants.”

Kuroo’s eyes widened and he turned to look at Bokuto, who seemed to be taking a moment to absorb what the doctor had said.

“What?” was all Bokuto finally asked.

“Your initial results show an increased level of pheromones,” the doctor explained, “which clearly points to what we discussed before: your alpha rage was caused by sexual desire, which got misdirected into anger because your body couldn’t understand desire towards another alpha. All of your other hormone levels are perfectly normal, and nothing like what we usually see in alphas who have gone into rage.”

Kuroo watched Bokuto for a reaction but didn’t see any. Bokuto was completely focused on the doctor, but Kuroo felt like he lacked a spark of understanding, something that would say that Bokuto really knew what was being said.

“What?” Bokuto asked again.

The doctor sighed.

“Yes,” she continued. “I have the latest results as well. What those suppressants have done to your body is atrocious. I’m surprised you have managed to keep living your everyday life. Your shaking hands should have been enough to alert your doctor to a problem.”

Bokuto opened his mouth but closed it without saying a thing. Kuroo stroked his knuckles with his thumb, anything to make the situation easier for Bokuto. He chastised himself for never having asked Bokuto what might help him concentrate. Maybe touch was only distracting him.

Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to let go of Bokuto’s hand.

“This level of suppressing,” the doctor said, “is bound to cause different kinds of cognitive issues on top of messing with your emotions. The suppressant you have been prescribed is usually given to alphas whose certain hormone levels are way too high, so it has been designed to effectively bring those levels down. In you, however, those levels are now almost non-existent. That is enough to show that a mistake happened somewhere.”

Bokuto was staring at the doctor. Kuroo wondered if he should step in and ask something, but he was so focused on reading Bokuto that he himself had a hard time taking in everything. He closed his eyes for a moment, then turned to the doctor.

“Is that what’s causing him to be so,” Kuroo asked, glancing at Bokuto as he searched for the right words, “so subdued? He got so quiet.”

“That sounds correct, yes,” the doctor told him, then turned back to Bokuto. “This is completely unacceptable. If you hadn’t come to see me, eventually your body would have started to shut down.”

Kuroo gasped. He turned to look at Bokuto, whose face remained empty. He was watching the doctor intently, so at least he was following the conversation to an extent.

“Bokuto,” the doctor said. “I need to ask you a few questions on how your previous doctor came to prescribe these suppressants to you, okay?”

Bokuto nodded.

“When you first saw him, was it the same day when you had gone into rage?” the doctor asked.

Bokuto nodded again, and Kuroo could see the doctor write something down.

“How long after the rage would you say it was?” she asked next.

Bokuto stared at her for a moment. Kuroo was almost impatient to hear the answers, because after he and Bokuto had gotten together, they hadn’t talked about what had happened. Kuroo hadn’t quite figured out how to approach the subject without making things worse for Bokuto, who was clearly suffering in the aftermath. This was his first chance for finding out even a bit of what had happened.

“I don’t know,” Bokuto finally said.

“Okay,” the doctor smiled. “After you came out of your rage, were you taken directly to him?”

Bokuto shook his head.

“So, I’m guessing you saw a therapist first,” the doctor said, to which Bokuto nodded. “Were you taken to the doctor after that?”

“Yes,” Bokuto said, and his voice was dry.

“A couple of hours later then,” the doctor muttered. “It’s not long enough to bring your hormone levels down so significantly, which is further proof that a mistake was made. Not to mention pheromones level out quicker than the so-called rage hormone, and if your pheromone levels were still so significantly high, it’s clear that he didn’t take a good look at these results. Am I correct in assuming that every time you went in, he checked your hormone levels with the quick test?”

Bokuto nodded, but Kuroo turned to look at the doctor.

“What’s the quick test?” he asked.

“It’s a test designed to measure an alpha’s hormone levels,” the doctor said. “It targets the specific hormone that causes rages, and its only job is to notify you if there’s too much of that hormone present. It doesn’t tell you the exact level, only if there’s too much. It’s used to make sure that alphas who have gone into rage are taking their suppressants.”

Kuroo couldn’t help glancing at Bokuto. It was hard to imagine Bokuto having to go see a doctor regularly just to make sure that he was taking his suppressants. And to know that the doctor hadn’t even made sure the suppressant was the right one to use. The more they learned the more horrifying the entire situation seemed.

“That’s awful,” Kuroo said with a frown.

“It’s standard,” the doctor said. “It should not be relied on completely, though, and as far as I know, most doctor’s take a proper sample and send it to the lab the first few times to make sure there’s nothing odd going on.”

She turned back towards Bokuto.

“Did he do that?” she asked. “I couldn’t find any more results or any mentions of lab test, but did he do that and maybe forget to write it down?”

“No,” Bokuto said. “No, he didn’t. It was always just the quick test.”

“Did he immediately prescribe the strong suppressant?” the doctor asked. “Or did he first start you on the regular type?”

“The strong one.”

Bokuto sounded smaller than usual. Kuroo wondered if the alpha had gotten much sleep the previous night.

“And what did he say when you told him about your hands?” the doctor then asked.

Bokuto frowned and took a moment to think. Kuroo swallowed.

“I… I think he just said,” Bokuto talked slowly, “that sometimes it happens but people learn to live with it.”

“Did you show him how much they were shaking?” the doctor asked next.

Bokuto said he didn’t know. Kuroo bit his lip. How did Bokuto not immediately know the answer?

“They weren’t this bad,” Bokuto added.

The doctor’s serious face melted into a smile.

“I’m not accusing you of anything,” she said. “I just want to make sure we figure out where it went wrong, so we can stop it from happening to someone else.”

Bokuto dropped his eyes to her desk and nodded. Kuroo squeezed his hand. Bokuto didn’t squeeze back.

“And were the doctor as well as your therapists aware of your lack of violent tendencies before you went into rage?” the doctor asked then.

Bokuto nodded.

“I told them I never,” he started, then cleared his throat and tried again. “I told them, but they didn’t believe me.”

Kuroo couldn’t help the indignant sound he let out.

“Mm hmm,” the doctor mumbled, writing something down before turning to look at Bokuto again. “That troubles me. There is, of course, no easy way to look at an alpha and determine whether or not they are a risk, but while some alphas will always remain in denial of their tendencies, it’s rare of them to outright lie about their past experiences. Did your therapist have a chat with your parents?”

Bokuto nodded. The doctor looked thoughtfully at her computer screen. Kuroo pulled Bokuto’s hand closer so he could hold it with both of his hands. He hadn’t had any idea of what Bokuto was really going through, and it made him feel guilty. It made him feel like he was partly to blame.

“I would like to recommend you a different therapist,” the doctor said then. “As well as give us a second opinion, it might do you good to talk to someone new for a change, especially since you’ve gotten the experience of not being believed.”

“That’s good,” Kuroo piped up.

Bokuto nodded, although he didn’t exactly look enthusiastic.

“I think I know just the right person for this case,” the doctor said and wrote something on her computer. “We want to make sure you feel comfortable with him first, so I won’t notify your current therapist just yet.”

“Do you think I should be there as well?” Kuroo asked. “Maybe not on the first time or just a short chat?”

“That’s a good idea,” the doctor said. “I’m sure you could start the session together and then he will have some one-on-one time with Bokuto. It’s good for him to get both sides of the story right away.”

Kuroo nodded. At least this was something he could do for Bokuto. Because Bokuto was on the suppressants it wouldn’t prove that they would get along organically, but it was a huge step to the right direction. Although, how could Kuroo himself know if they would still get along when Bokuto was no longer on suppressants? The only time he had seen Bokuto without the suppressants had also been the time when Bokuto went feral. What if they could only connect because Bokuto was on suppressants?

No, that wasn’t a good train of thought. He immediately forced himself to shut it down. The doctor finished typing before turning back to the pair of them.

“Now that that’s taken care of,” she said, “we return to the topic of suppressants.”

“Can’t he stop taking them?” Kuroo asked. “He’s clearly not dangerous.”

The doctor smiled sympathetically.

“Unfortunately, he can’t,” she said. “It’s in the law that after an alpha has gone into rage, they will have to be put on suppressants for the rest of their life. However, there are some cases in which it’s possible for the alpha to eventually get off suppressants, and I think Bokuto does qualify for that. Either way, the suppressants won’t be going away now, but we will be making some drastic changes.”

She turned and took something out of her desk drawer. It was a package of, Kuroo assumed, suppressants. In fact, the more he looked at it the more familiar it seemed.

“These are a very common type of suppressant,” the doctor explained, and Kuroo realised it was the same package he had seen in the pharmacy every time he visited. “It is not a common approach to alpha rage, which is why I think your doctor immediately prescribed you the stronger type. However, I feel that I have sufficiently proven that you are not a danger to society, so this type of suppressant is enough.”

Bokuto nodded. Kuroo could have sworn he saw a hint of relief on his face.

“Your dosage has been very high,” the doctor continued, “so we will have to bring it down gently. So far, you’ve been taking two pills a day. For the next two weeks I want you to take only one pill a day. After that one pill every second day for four weeks.”

Bokuto was frowning, and once again Kuroo found himself wishing it was possible to see what was going on in his head.

“Don’t worry,” the doctor said, “I will write all this down for you. After these six weeks, you will switch to the new suppressant. It will still be a significant drop, so you can expect some emotional and physical turmoil, but it shouldn’t last more than a couple of weeks. You will be taking two pills of these suppressants for a month, then we can drop it down to one pill a day. And that is where you will remain until we get the situation sorted out, and hopefully you can eventually get off the suppressants completely.”

“What kinds of issues should we expect there to be?” Kuroo asked. “I want to make sure it won’t be dangerous for him.”

The doctor smiled.

“It depends on the individual, so I can’t say for sure,” she said. “But taking into consideration all the side effects you have described, and the fact that you have a diagnosis for depression, I would say it’s reasonable to expect emotionally difficult times. If it becomes unbearable, you can call me, and we’ll make sure you get through this safe and sound.”

Kuroo looked at Bokuto with determination. He would make sure Bokuto would get through the switch alright.

“What kinds of physical symptoms?” he asked.

“Typical symptoms include excessive sweating, dizziness, nausea, and insomnia,” the doctor said. “If there’s something else, you should call me, and we’ll make sure it doesn’t get too bad.”

Bokuto nodded. Kuroo didn’t have much else to ask, so they quickly wrapped up the appointment. Bokuto wasn’t looking so good, his eyes roaming the room, which Kuroo had found was a sign of lost concentration. Bokuto did, however, quickly notice they were leaving, and followed Kuroo out of the room, then out of the building.

They were quiet on their way back home. Kuroo had been spending a lot of time with Bokuto at Bokuto’s house, but they hadn’t talked about the true nature of their relationship with Bokuto’s parents yet. Kuroo hadn’t asked about it. He assumed it was for reasons similar to why he hadn’t told to his parents either. Being two alphas together wasn’t exactly typical. It wasn’t unheard of, and people didn’t usually pay much attention to it, but it was still not the norm.

Bokuto seemed to be in his own world, but there was a look of concentration on his face.

“You’re thinking hard,” Kuroo said when they had settled in Bokuto’s room.

“I’m just,” Bokuto said slowly, clearly searching for the right words, “overwhelmed, I guess. I don’t… I’m…”

His words hung heavily in the air.

“It’s okay,” Kuroo said. “I can imagine it’s hard to find out that your doctor made a mistake and that you’ve been taking such a big dosage of the suppressants unnecessarily.”

Bokuto shrugged, which wasn’t an unusual reaction from him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kuroo asked.

“No,” Bokuto said, like he always did when Kuroo asked. “I want to suck you off, though.”

Kuroo looked at him with apprehension.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yup,” Bokuto said and managed a smile. “It makes me feel good too.”

Kuroo still hesitated. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Bokuto, but he didn’t fully believe Bokuto. He worried that Bokuto thought it was his duty as an alpha to provide sex, even when he himself couldn’t enjoy it. But Bokuto had also told him that he did enjoy it. The first few times Bokuto had suggested it, Kuroo had refused, thinking it was unfair, but Bokuto had insisted. Would he really be doing it if it didn’t give him anything?

“If you’re sure,” Kuroo said eventually.

“I’m sure,” Bokuto replied.

He pulled Kuroo closer and they kissed. Bokuto’s scent was faint, and once again Kuroo found himself wishing that he had gotten a better whiff of it before it was so effectively suppressed. Then again, all he had smelled on Bokuto during their first meeting was irritation, and it was not a scent Kuroo wanted to think about during sex.

He pulled away from the kiss to press his nose against Bokuto’s scent gland. He rubbed against it and was glad to find that although it was faint, Bokuto was clearly aroused. He just wished he knew how to make Bokuto feel even better.

Bokuto took off Kuroo’s shirt and threw it to the floor. His hands slid over Kuroo’s chest and Kuroo rumbled when Bokuto’s fingers passed over a nipple. He was quickly getting hard, his pants now restricting, but Bokuto had already moved to his fly to get it open.

Once Kuroo was out of his pants, Bokuto immediately went for his underwear, but Kuroo stopped his hands from making it there. Bokuto looked at him in surprise.

“I want to see you too,” he said.

“Oh,” Bokuto replied.

He unceremoniously took off his shirt and threw it off the bed. He turned back to finally pull Kuroo’s underwear off, but Kuroo stopped him again.

“I want to see you too,” Kuroo repeated, words heavier this time.

Bokuto frowned and backed away some. He bit his lip, glancing down towards his crotch so quickly that Kuroo nearly missed it.

“It won’t be anything interesting,” Bokuto said quietly.

“Of course it will interest me,” Kuroo said. “I want to see all of you.”

Bokuto had his lips pressed firmly together and he looked uneasy in a way Kuroo hadn’t seen him since their first time in the bathroom, when Kuroo had tried to return the favour and accused him of – what, Kuroo wasn’t quite sure. Of sleeping around while not interested? Giving him false hope?

Kuroo shook the thoughts out of his head and looked directly at Bokuto.

“If it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t press,” he said. “But I really want to touch you too. I don’t care if you get it up or not.”

“I won’t,” Bokuto muttered.

“I don’t care,” Kuroo said. “I still want to touch you.”

Bokuto’s frown deepened and he looked away.

“Why would you want to do that?” he asked, although it sounded rhetorical.

“Because I lo- I care about you,” Kuroo replied.

His slip-up seemed to catch Bokuto’s attention and the alpha turned to look at him again. Kuroo smiled sheepishly.

“You’re my mate,” he said. “I want to make you feel good too.”

Bokuto didn’t look exactly convinced. In fact, he looked even more confused, maybe even a bit frustrated that Kuroo kept insisting. Kuroo really wished that he could smell Bokuto more easily. Stuffing his face against Bokuto’s neck to check his scent wasn’t exactly subtle.

“I feel good when I blow you,” Bokuto said quietly.

Kuroo took a moment to contemplate before speaking.

“If it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t do it,” he said. “Just tell me, and I’ll drop it.”

He expected to immediately have Bokuto tell him not to approach the subject again before his switch to the new suppressant was done and he would presumably be back to working order. Instead, Bokuto remained quiet. He still looked hesitant and uneasy, but he wasn’t telling Kuroo to quit trying.

“You have nothing to worry about, Bokuto,” Kuroo said, hoping that he could convey his emotions through his voice rather than rely on his scent. “I already know what I’m going to find in your pants. It’s not going to scare me off.”

Bokuto had his eyes cast down, his front teeth pressing down on his lower lip. And he nodded. It was a small gesture, but Kuroo was sure that he had seen correctly.

“Let me learn about your body,” Kuroo said, voice growing husky in anticipation.

Bokuto nodded again, glancing at Kuroo. He looked so shy Kuroo’s heart ached with fondness. He shuffled closer and placed a hand on Bokuto’s shoulder. The skin contact made Bokuto shiver, and Kuroo wondered if Bokuto had ever been touched like this before. He didn’t want to ask, not right now.

“Just tell me if you get uncomfortable, okay?” he said.

Bokuto nodded again. Kuroo leaned closer to press a soft kiss against his lips, sliding both hands over Bokuto’s shoulders, down to his biceps, up to his neck. He let his fingers graze the hair on Bokuto’s nape, kissing him softly as Bokuto let out a quiet whimper. It was so utterly vulnerable that Kuroo’s alpha immediately raised its head, needing to protect his mate. He left one hand to the back of Bokuto’s shoulder and let the other explore his front. His chest was soft, his nipples hard pebbles on his pecs. He focused on one, toying with it until Bokuto was panting. He had hoped to entice sound, but maybe Bokuto was too nervous for it.

He drifted lower, fingers mapping Bokuto’s developing abs. They were encased in squishy skin, and Kuroo loved feeling it, wanted to spend days just touching Bokuto, first like this, then kiss his way over wherever he had touched. For now, he continued giving Bokuto’s lips small kisses, his fingers finding the alpha’s happy trail that he followed to the waistband of his pants.

Bokuto was stiff, so Kuroo slid his hand to his hip and let it rest there. His other hand was slowly stroking Bokuto’s shoulder.

“I won’t go further if you really don’t want me to,” he said, quiet enough to keep the mood but loud enough to be clearly heard.

Bokuto swallowed. Once again, Kuroo wished that Bokuto’s scent was stronger and more apparent. He shifted slightly, pressing his face a bit closer to the other alpha’s scent gland to get a whiff of what was going on. It wasn’t much, but it told him that Bokuto was nervous, although also excited. It seemed reasonably good. He dropped a soft kiss over the scent gland, delighted to find that it momentarily made Bokuto’s scent stronger. He really hoped that dropping the dosage of his suppressants would already make Bokuto’s scent stand out more. He wanted to learn it, to drown in it, he wanted it all over himself.

And weren’t those thoughts odd? It was usually omegas who craved to be scented by their alpha, while alphas would want to scent their partner. He wondered if other alpha couples felt this way too. He wondered if maybe alphas with omega partners also felt this way, they just never talked about it.

“Can I at least take off your pants?” Kuroo asked. “I won’t touch your underwear.”

Bokuto looked down at himself before glancing at Kuroo. His eyes wouldn’t stop on anything for more than a moment, his gaze shifting until he finally frowned and looked properly at Kuroo.

“Okay,” he said.

His voice was weak, but he sounded certain, so Kuroo smiled and slipped his fingers over Bokuto’s hips and back to his tummy. He scratched over his happy trail before focusing on popping open the button of his pants. Bokuto shifted some but didn’t seem to be trying to get away, so Kuroo continued, slowly zipping down the fly.

He had to pull away from Bokuto to pull the pants off. Bokuto lifted his hips to help. Kuroo smiled and threw Bokuto’s pants off the bed.

His eyes immediately went to Bokuto’s groin. There was a sizeable bulge in his underwear, and Kuroo could hardly believe Bokuto was still soft.

“Oh, you’re big,” he blurted out before thinking if it was the right thing to say.

Eyes wide he lifted his gaze to Bokuto. Bokuto was blushing and looking away, but rather than sad he looked pleased. Kuroo desperately wanted to ask Bokuto if he was a grower or a shower, because even though it seemed that he was probably a shower, he couldn’t help fantasising of Bokuto’s cock getting even bigger than it was.

Before he could blurt out something worse, Kuroo focused on Bokuto’s legs. They seemed hairier up close. In fact, a lot of Bokuto was hairier than Kuroo had expected. He himself only had a faint dusting of hair covering his skin in few places. He slid his hands over Bokuto’s calves, stopped to stroke the knees with his thumbs, before pressing Bokuto’s legs more open. Bokuto was a bit reluctant, but did eventually open his legs properly, and Kuroo settled between them. He slid his hands over Bokuto’s thighs, then back down to his knees. He focused his touch on his inner thighs, enjoying the soft give of the flesh.

“Can I kiss you down here?” Kuroo asked.

Bokuto watched him stroke his fingertips over his thighs.

“My legs?” Bokuto asked.

Kuroo nodded. Bokuto took a moment to think.

“Yeah,” he then said.

Kuroo smiled at him before leaning down and pressing his lips onto Bokuto’s skin. Bokuto gasped quietly, opening his legs just a bit more. Kuroo loved the feeling of Bokuto’s soft skin against his lips, and he continued leaving little kisses over the expanse of Bokuto’s thighs. He was careful to stay down enough not to accidentally touch Bokuto’s cock.

After taking his time learning Bokuto’s skin, Kuroo opened his mouth more and sucked. Bokuto’s gasp was bordering on a moan, and it pleased Kuroo’s alpha. He was giving his partner pleasure unlike anything he had been allowed to give before. His own cock was aching, and when he moved to latch on a different spot, Bokuto’s moan made him rut his hips against the bed. He loved feeling Bokuto’s thighs around his head. He loved spending his time making Bokuto pant. He really hoped that after this time Bokuto would be more open to letting Kuroo touch him again.

“F- Kuroo,” Bokuto breathed.

His hand tangled in Kuroo’s hair, pushing Kuroo’s face towards his cock. Kuroo hesitated, pressed his lips just under Bokuto’s boxers, nosing the fabric out of the way, but not going farther up. He pulled away, but Bokuto’s hand remained in his hair.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Bokuto’s cheeks were flushed and his lips wet and open. He nodded.

“Can I take your underwear off?” Kuroo asked.

Bokuto’s chest was heaving. He nodded again.

Kuroo watched Bokuto’s face for a moment, before turning his eyes back down. He slid his hands over Bokuto’s hips and to the waistline of his boxers. He played with the elastic, then looked at Bokuto’s face again to see if Bokuto was still on board. He couldn’t find anything alarming, so he worked his fingers under the boxers and started pulling them off. Bokuto lifted his hips to aid, although he went stiff after the garment slipped off his feet. Kuroo stopped, watched the thoughts run through Bokuto’s head.

“Are you still okay?” Kuroo asked.

Bokuto wouldn’t meet his eyes. He was still breathing hard, had one hand fisted into the sheets, but Kuroo wasn’t sure if it had been that way because of pleasure or if it was caused by nerves. Bokuto’s breathing calmed down and he closed his mouth properly to bite his lip.

“You can put them back on if this was too much,” Kuroo said.

Bokuto raised his head to look at Kuroo. His eyes were wide, vulnerable, scared, but at the edge of them Kuroo could have sworn he saw determination and trust. He leaned closer to hopefully get a sense of Bokuto’s scent from his lower glands but couldn’t find much. It was too faint to know exactly what Bokuto was feeling.

“I,” Bokuto started to say, then bit his lips closed, still staring at Kuroo.

“I’m happy you let me go this far, Bokuto,” Kuroo said. “We can stop if you don’t want to go further. Or maybe you’d like to put your underwear back on? I can still touch you, if you want.”

Bokuto took a long time to think. Kuroo was getting ready to help him put his boxers back on, was about to suggest they simply do it, when Bokuto finally talked.

“It felt good,” he said. “I… I want you to keep going.”

“Yeah?” Kuroo asked, hoping that his face was soft and understanding rather than a reflection of his nerves.

Bokuto nodded in response.

“Do you want me to stick to touching your thighs?” Kuroo asked, turning his eyes down to take a look at Bokuto’s big alpha cock, soft but looking so good, and his mouth watered. “Or do you want me to touch your… Can I touch your cock?”

He looked up to see Bokuto’s hesitant face. Bokuto was blushing again. He was unfairly cute.

“Yeah,” Bokuto said then, voice all air.

“Yeah?” Kuroo replied, partly in surprise. “I can?”

Bokuto nodded. Kuroo wanted to thank him for giving him this chance to finally touch him like this.

“Just tell me if you change your mind, okay?” he said instead.

Bokuto nodded again, then took a deep breath and clearly did his best to relax. Kuroo tossed the boxers to the floor and shifted closer. He gave Bokuto’s lips a soft kiss, let his hand trail down the alpha’s soft skin, down to his hips, and with only minor hesitation, straight to the cock that was nestled in thick hair.

“Fuck,” Kuroo mouthed against Bokuto’s lips.

He cupped Bokuto’s cock in his hand, surprised by how erotic it felt. His fingertips were brushing over Bokuto’s balls, and he shivered. Bokuto was his first partner, although he had never enclosed that information to the other alpha, and being now allowed to touch his cock was almost overwhelmingly good, made his own cock ache in his underwear. He pressed their lips together to avoid blurting out anything embarrassing. He squeezed a bit, then let his hand wander, over Bokuto’s hips, down his thighs, then back to his cock, behind his balls. Bokuto moaned into the kiss when he pressed his fingers on the alpha’s taint, rubbed for a moment before returning to his balls.

“Kuroo,” Bokuto whined between kisses.

Kuroo sighed, content. He was so happy he could cry. The way Bokuto moaned quietly when he teased his cock with fingertips made his own hips twitch. He kissed his way down Bokuto’s neck, stopping at the scent gland to tease it first with lips, then with his teeth, carefully worrying the skin, his instincts really wanting him to bite down and claim his mate. He let go of the skin and licked, tasting Bokuto’s faint scent in the air, and he made his way farther down, lips brushing against Bokuto’s hot skin. He flicked his tongue over Bokuto’s hard nipple, and Bokuto whimpered.

He wanted to hear more. He wanted to make Bokuto unable to keep quiet. His fingers danced over Bokuto’s cock, and he wondered how big the alpha’s knot would be, what it would feel like inside him.

Was that a normal thought for an alpha?

He didn’t care, discarding the question before it properly even registered. He hoped that getting off the suppressants would make it possible for Bokuto to get hard again so he could get fucked, he could have Bokuto’s big cock inside him and Bokuto pressed against his back, nailing him to the bed.

Kuroo’s lips found their way down Bokuto’s body. He kissed Bokuto’s soft tummy, dragged his teeth along his happy trail, then pressed a wet, open-mouthed kiss to the base of his cock. Bokuto whimpered.

Kuroo really wanted to take Bokuto’s cock in his mouth, but he hadn’t asked, and he didn’t want to interrupt the moment by asking now, so he moved down, nuzzling against the scent gland on the top of his thigh, giving it a lick before moving back down to Bokuto’s sensitive thighs, while his fingers didn’t stop working over Bokuto’s cock. Bokuto was getting louder, body arching and hips twitching, and Kuroo couldn’t stop pressing his hips firmer against the bed for some stimulation. He was using his free hand to tease Bokuto’s taint again, making the alpha shudder.

“Kuroo, wait! No, stop,” Bokuto said so suddenly that Kuroo had a hard time catching up with his brain to understand what it meant.

When he understood, he lifted his head up only to see Bokuto throw his head back with a loud moan, hips jumping as come dribbled from his cock, sliding over Kuroo’s fingers. Bokuto’s thighs were shaking and he was gasping for breath. Kuroo bit his lip, uncertain of what to do. Why did Bokuto tell him to stop? Did he not like what was going on? But if he didn’t, why was he coming? Should Kuroo continue and help him through it, should he immediately take his hands off Bokuto? What if stopping would make it less satisfactory for Bokuto?

Before Kuroo could get to any kind of conclusion, hands frozen in place, Bokuto groaned, panting, staring up to the ceiling, before finally looking down to Kuroo with wide eyes.

“What just happened?” Bokuto breathed out.

Kuroo glanced down to his come-covered hands.

“You just came,” he said point-blank, his own eyes possibly just as wide as Bokuto’s.

“What?” Bokuto asked and blinked.

Kuroo slowly pulled his hands away from Bokuto, then lifted them up to show him. Bokuto stared at them for a good while.

“Did you,” Kuroo started, then cleared his throat. “Did you not like it?”

“What?” Bokuto asked, still out of breath.

“You told me to stop.”

Bokuto’s mouth formed an O, then he licked his lips and shook his head.

“I didn’t,” he started, then took a moment to gather his thoughts. “I was just… I wasn’t expecting… It felt so good? I’ve never felt that good? I didn’t mean… It felt good.”

Kuroo stared at Bokuto, trying to read the alpha’s face.

“It was good,” Bokuto said, almost weakly. “You were good.”

Kuroo blinked.

“So,” he asked slowly, “I didn’t do anything wrong?”

Bokuto laughed tiredly and shook his head.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he confirmed, then smiled at Kuroo. “I didn’t think it was possible to come if you can’t get it up.”

Kuroo glanced down to his hands where Bokuto’s come was quickly drying.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

“Come here,” Bokuto said.

Kuroo looked at him. Bokuto’s smile was warm, his eyes welcoming, and Kuroo quickly wiped his hands on the sheets before crawling up the bed.

“Let me return the favour,” Bokuto whispered before pulling Kuroo into a kiss.

*

Bokuto was asleep, his muscular body a nice pressure over Kuroo. Bokuto had fallen asleep shortly after knotting Kuroo, which didn’t surprise Kuroo in the least. It was the first time Bokuto had gone into rut since he had been allowed to quit his suppressants, and it must have been tiring after several years of no ruts. Kuroo pulled Bokuto closer to press his face against the alpha’s neck. Bokuto smelled content and absolutely satiated. It made Kuroo’s heart swell with love.

Now that Bokuto was asleep, Kuroo allowed himself a sigh of relief. While they had already been together for five years, there had been a small voice at the back of his head questioning everything he knew to be true. What if the suppressants had been the only reason why Bokuto loved him? What if Bokuto would go into a rage again once the suppressants wore off? What if, what if.

But none of that had happened. Bokuto had been on edge for a few days, then his rut had finally hit him, signifying that the suppressants were off his system. And he had been the cutest, whiniest alpha in rut. Bokuto’s strongest instincts were simply to care for his mate, make sure that everything was fine with Kuroo, that he wasn’t hungry or cold or uncomfortable. Bokuto had also built Kuroo a nest, even while knowing that alphas didn’t need nests.

It was sweet, and Kuroo’s heart had flipped when he first saw the nest. Bokuto had been standing next to it, nervously fidgeting his fingers and switching his weight from one foot to the other, throwing quick glances at Kuroo, until Kuroo had climbed in and told him that it was the best nest he had ever seen.

And the sex! Bokuto hadn’t had any issues with his erection for about a year now, had only had minor issues with it during the years before that, but rut had really brought out his confidence. And his knot.

Kuroo shivered, squeezing his ass just to feel the way Bokuto’s knot was stretching him wide open.

He held Bokuto against himself, one hand finding its way into the alpha’s hair to play with it. He thought about the first time he had met Bokuto, the first time he had stepped foot into Fukurodani’s gym, smelled someone hostile, and noticed how a cute alpha had been staring at him, and not in a good way. Bokuto hadn’t stopped staring the entire time, oozing aversion towards Kuroo, so when they had been assigned as a pair, Kuroo had found it unfair. Why would the universe force him to work with the one person in the entire gym who clearly didn’t want to work with him?

And he thought about the way Bokuto’s scent had been taunting him until he couldn’t stop himself from reacting, how a part of his brain had shut down at that moment, but how it had also quickly been switched back on when he noticed Bokuto’s scent overpower everything. The look on Bokuto’s face had been terrifying, empty of recognition, void of emotion other than hatred, eyes staring without truly seeing. His scent, however, was a mix of many things, and while most of those things were aggressive, there was also the layer of erotic, something that Kuroo had never thought even possible. He had had a few omegas approach him before, had been able to sense how their nature was reaching out to him, trying to seduce his alpha, but none of that compared to the wave of Bokuto’s call.

It had confused him for a long time. Bokuto’s alpha was calling for him, yet Bokuto had done his all to physically hurt him, render him incapable of ever returning. It had confused him even after Bokuto attacked him with kisses and a blowjob. It had only stopped being confusing after Kuroo had done extensive research on alpha-alpha attraction, learning that some alphas couldn’t correctly identify it as attraction and mistook it as hatred.

Bokuto mumbled something in his sleep and pressed his face against Kuroo’s scent gland. Kuroo smiled.

Now that they had confirmation that Bokuto was fine, that the initial confusion had truly been resolved, he hoped that Bokuto would finally be open to have a conversation on bonding. Kuroo had once brought it up during their first year of college, but Bokuto had immediately gone sour, withdrawn into himself, and Kuroo had dropped it. They had talked about it once afterwards, and Bokuto had explained that he was too scared of what was still going on with his body and the suppressants. But now it was over.

Their beginning may have been rougher than was typical, but Kuroo had never been as happy as he was now, here, knotted to Bokuto, his one and only. Some days he felt overwhelmed by how much he loved Bokuto.

“I love you,” he whispered against Bokuto’s hair, unable to contain the feeling inside.

Bokuto mumbled something incoherent again, his hips twitching and knot pushing deeper inside Kuroo. Kuroo sighed contently and closed his eyes.

He should take a nap too, in case Bokuto wanted a second round once he woke up.

Kuroo fell asleep with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A second chapter because I didn't feel like turning this into a series.
> 
> I started writing this without knowing where I was going with it, and, in fact, only figured out how to finish this a couple of hours ago.
> 
> I originally started writing this from Bokuto's POV, but then decided it would be more interesting to get Kuroo's side of things, which means I had to scrap the beginning that I really liked. But I posted it [on Twitter](https://twitter.com/mean_whale/status/1174354586653614080) if you want to see.
> 
> [mastodon](https://fandom.ink/@mean_whale) \- fic announcements  
[twitter](https://twitter.com/mean_whale) \- personal stuff, but I do occassionally talk about writing  
I also have a [writing list](https://mean-whale.dreamwidth.org/557.html) that I remember to update every now and then


End file.
